Bag of Dick’s

I present to you a completely unsolicited pitch for an advertising campaign for local Seattle burger joint Dick’s Drive Thru, a cultural institution despite lackluster hamburgers.

Scene: Broadway, Capitol Hill, mid day. Two young men dressed in current youth fashions are walking along the street.

Youth 1: Man, I sure am hungry. My stomach is killing me! I really wish I could get my hands on some cheap, greasy grub right about now, brah.

Youth 2: Well, why don’t you just go eat a bag of dicks?

Youth 1: Yo brah, that was uncalled for! I don’t get all harsh on your broke ass when you need some munchies, do I?

Youth 2: No brah, I mean a bag of tasty burgers and fries from Dick’s Drive Thru!

…And this is why I will never work in advertising.

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Posted by Dylan
On May 9, 2007
In Category: General, Seattle, Unabashed Consumerism
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Week in Review

Monday: Jarvis at the Showbox. Oh my fuck. At a remarkably spry 43, Jarvis Cocker can still gyrate and rock the house like no one else. He’s not just sarcastic, he’s quick-witted as well (during the show, a crowd member yelled out a request for “Cunts Are Still Running The World,” to which Jarvis replied “I’ve heard that as well…”). Every minute of this show was engaging, all the way to the surprisingly faithful cover of “Purple Haze” at the end of the encore. Faithful except for slight lyrical alterations (“Excuse me, whilst I kiss the sky”) at least.

Note to self: $2 well drinks at the Noc Noc does not mean you can have twice as many. Especially not on a Monday night. But they also have the best $2 tater tots…

Tuesday: Sick day (see above).

Wednesday & Thursday: Dinner and reality television at V-Ray’s. Sometimes I can’t believe what passes entertainment these days (Shear Genius? The Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School?), and yet I can’t look away. It makes me want to yell at the TV like when Bill O’Reilly is on.

Friday: Cocorosie, Tez, and Busdriver (with Caural) at Neumo’s. Didn’t even stay for Cocorosie (too tired, damn work schedule) but Tez was awesome. His all-beatbox set was incredible, the highlight was absolutely his spot-on rendition of Prince’s “Kiss,” from vocals to beats, with nothing but his mouth and a microphone. Not bad for a  white French boy. Busdriver was pretty incredible too, with Caural laying down the MPC beats (I caught some Super Furry Animals samples in there) while Busdriver went off in his super-quick flow, tossing in shout-outs to Seattle the whole time. Apparently, he knows the difference between Pike and Pine. Way to play to the locals.

This weekend promises to be at least as busy as the rest of the week, if not more so. More later, natch.

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Posted by Dylan
On May 5, 2007
In Category: Debauchery, General, Live Music, Seattle
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